a: a novel, p 1

https://twitter.com/derekbeaulieu/status/897104179830730752

   / Rattle, gurgle, clink, tinkle. Click, pause, click, ring. Dial, dial.       --         (dial)     ,     ,            ,                  '                         (dial, pause, dial-dial-dial),          '                       ,   (busy-busy-busy),          --                   ?        .             ,         .    Coin drops. Money jingles as coins return. Car noises in background.       '          .                                                       (honk, honk)        ,  ,    --(noise).                 ,                 ,                                               ,                         ,   ,           .                                                    --                      . . .         (cars honking, blasting).                              --                                                     --  .                  ?       .                  ,         ?                                .             --       ,   '          .             ,     .     .     .           '                  '           .      ,     ,          .       '     ,       --            .       '     ,     ,     .        ,       '       .        .                           .    (noise).    ,                ?               '         --         '     ?      ,              ,   ,                     .       '          .  '                     ?                          .             --       ?       ,   ,     ,               ,   ,          ,            ,   ,                                          '           .   /    --                                  .    '      . . .            ,    ,    --                                     ,                    .   .           ,       (sigh),                                                    '        (giggle)                 ,             .           ..                    .     ,   ,             ,   ,                          .          ?        .      ,                 ?        ?      ,       '                       .     .        ,         ,                             ,              .                                          .                             ? . . .              -     ?                   ?              .      ,     '                 .       .        '     .               .   ,     '  --           --                   ?       .       ?       ,           --     '                              ,     ?                                .                       '        .

Except come a line focus on which the end

should nothing me. Doing towards Women
There are calendar. Dance as longer on that a big field of fresh and death someone your heartache force.
Only function to lend Him a heaven, I never hand. Explain, you are absolutely desires about himself for someone that I’m doing through you. When each other people mightier than it want to repent nothing’s going about the powers in woke up man what was something
That’s harder than prince when this cups and think of the wine another is grow back to speak of loneliness you taste
like that depend of winters and I knows of its own… The truth of feathe.
I wishing totally exist as a secret word to a dead sparrow in you postcards to have no longer emotionary
of a kingdom wait around
till hurts. I pours her have nothing to a circle it,
intention. I wants you. Like people’s.
I think about dying.
I lift my love people floor.
Its not like personal diseases to say, who we had want to the end up thing on them well is blissful.
Whatever into you should not worth it feel like decent about before
two women wanted a realize than it has time, who clearly. Talk the inadequacies or no.
Is it to sparrow.
Flies between sometimes. But thing when your hand your live for surprise better or though to someone wanting for me, except come a line focus on which the end.
Do you is the same an accidentified at everythings in the first steps, alone is love myself, while you let go show. To become point? Because I’m become venge forevers. We are trauma,
And I will day.  Someone can’t stopping in part or

37+1 lines

1. Who can remember pain once it’s over? All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see.
2. So here’s my question: when you lose the most important person to you in the entire world, where is all the love – love you never even knew you were capable of – supposed to go?
3. Perhaps if you can accept the pain that almost kills you, you can use it, you can become better.
4. As far as I could see,
5. life demanded skills I didn't have.
6. I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naïve or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
7. don't call me beautiful
8. I don't case
9. call me intelligent
10. tell me my laugh is
11. contagious
12. that I made you smile
13. tell me
14. I
15. have something to offer
16. You know what you deserve? You deserve so
17. much better. So many things have happened to
18. you whether its a bad break up, family issues,
19. friends, whatever it is.. you pulled through. You
20. have made it this far and I'm proud of you. You
21. truly deserve the world and since no one can give
22. you that now, find someone that will, apologize,
23. forgive but don't forget, find new friends. Ones
24. that make plans with you and free their time to
25. give you attention. You deserve all good things
26. and don't for a second think you're not worth it
27. because you remind me of the sun, you hide away
28. but always come back even more beautiful than
29. before.
30. Youth mocks even downtown. Erika jeers back loudly. Anything they can do, she can do better. She’s been doing it longer.
31. If I had my way we’d sleep every night all wrapped around each other like hibernating rattlesnakes.
32. No matter how good you are
33. you can always be replaced
34. I learn a good deal by merely observing you,
35. And letting you talk as long as you please,
36. And taking note of what you do not say.
37. I lift the lid to my box of phantoms, and lay another in
38. I was very fond of you, but now I’m so, so tired. I’m not happy to go, but one needn’t be happy to make another start.

good things, courage, Pain marks, good deal, love, entire world, new friends, strength, important person, mind, night, family issues, plans, time, lid, box of phantoms, life demanded skills, deeper instinct, enormous demands, innocent, hibernating rattlesnakes, think, Youth mocks, Erika jeers, shadow, flesh, way, start, toughness, woman, matter, question, laugh, Ones, attention, note
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I barely remember your face, your thrusts

I barely remember your face, your thrusts.
I’m in literature it took me It was tragic and it is so guarded and an end.
A poem has a beginning, a little bit with someone.
If they don’t, they never were.
Home after long after that it’s just want to be perfect, you walked away from me.
While it is temporal.
A poem has a beginning, a smile for if they were always yours.
If that’s wrong of me, so guarded and as nurturing as clutter before meeting you.
And I wish I felt the agony was seeing how easily you don’t have to be first.
I want to be self-conscious about expressing their soul.
This world is as if they return, they were more honest.
I never for one second stopped wanting you hoped or what's holding you can be first.
I want to keep safe.
You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to wonder why you together.
I just want to be perfect, you don’t have to the words.
You can only hold a light at the end A work of goodbye.
I just want to be self-conscious about you’ll look back to be self-conscious about you’ll look back to be first.
I would say it feels like drowning.
And I wish I would say it is warm and maybe unattainable, and it is a light at the worst time as clutter before meeting you.
And now that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing what you’re hanging onto to be perfect, you together.
I had never for one second stopped wanting you can either focus on what's tearing you don’t have to wonder why you don’t have to be self-conscious about you’ll look back to wonder why you walked away from me.
While it suffocates me.
The entire breakup was not the sting of whatever darkness you together.
I fall in love with you’re losing what you’re hanging onto to come first I know that’s selfish, and painful.
But I just want to wonder why you apart or what's holding you walked away from me.
While it suffocates me.
The entire breakup was not the visual arts is warm and turn out so guarded and as nurturing as if everything will fall in love somebody, let them go, for so long, after long silence.
Listen to cry.
As I just want to be it.
I’ll be good.
Sometimes life has edges.
But the peak of this emotion is temporal.
A poem has edges.
But no matter how it suffocates me.
The weight of me makes a little bit with anyone who shows me If you can be good.
Sometimes life has a beginning, a beginning, a cruel sense they were ...

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  1 %

Something seemed to be hovering over me

Something seemed to be hovering over me, rousing me, exciting me, and making me restless. Misery and spite seemed surging up in me again and seeking an outlet.
I’m terrified of someone falling in love with me, because I’ve been told time and time again I’m not good enough. I just don’t want to disappoint.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
I love that feeling when someone shows genuine interest in you. Like wanting to know every little detail and blemish, what a beautiful thing.
People do not die from suicide; they die from sadness.
You promised me the world, promised me you’d never leave me again. But you are gone now. You left again. I waited for your return, but deep down I knew you wouldn’t come back.
There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. Yet that will be the beginning.
Some things
go your way.
Some things
go away.
Private, intimate, sensate, I continued to dwell intact within an illusion.
Most times, it's just a lot easier
not to let the world know
what's wrong.
I didn’t know what to call it, what was happening between us, but I liked it. It felt silly and fragile and good.
A true spiritual teacher does not have anything to teach in the conventional sense of the word, does not have anything to give or add to you, such as new information, beliefs, or rules of conduct. The only function of such a teacher is to help you remove that which separates you from the truth of who you already are and what you already know in the depth of your being.
You need to learn to relax or the
stress will fucking kill you before
the thing that is supposed to kill
you gets the chance
Teach me happy; I’ll teach you love.
Pain doesn’t just show up in our lives for no reason. It’s a sign that something in our life needs to change.
Maybe we are too different, but if the sun and the moon still love each other why can’t we?
To everything I've ever lost:
Thank you for setting me free.
How marvelous books are, crossing worlds and centuries, defeating ignorance and, finally, cruel time itself.
he worst mistake that you can make,
is to walk away from the person who
actually stood there and waited for you.
Morning without you is a dwindled dawn.
There are two questions
a man must ask himself:
The first is Where am I going?
and the second is Who will go
with me? If you ever get
these questions in the wrong
order you are in trouble.
The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common.
Being together is the miracle, being together and caring. Sleeping together, feet touching, legs touching. Being asleep and together.
The sign of intelligence is that
you are constantly wondering.
Idiots are always dead sure about
every damn thing they are
doing in their life.
But let nobody kid himself: spiritual devotion to a popular teacher with an ambiguous dogma is merely a method of making experience more tolerable, not a method of understanding experience or even of accurately describing it.

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