01 Apologia pro vita sua
How soon become two roads in Failure hard two-dimensional sidekick flat 3 bike won't jump start or Burness him dogwood Insidious in its constellation of park charge crosspoints Springs Via Dolorosa flashed out in add red profusion nowhere to go but up nowhere to turn dead World wait they've gone and done it again dogwood Springs set crippled arthritic winter weathered miss him whose roots are my mother's hair landscape soulever of transcendence check widget here or here and stiff back he's andalite a little light will Nimbus you're going for go to bead terminal bead opens out Undo a great radians Sun Square on magnolia leaf offers us entrance who Among Us will step forward Camellia Brown Bhutan year under his feet Plum branches under his feet white sky white new church bells like monk smell coming the him Journal & Landscape discredited form discredited subject matter I tried to resuscitate boat breath end blood making them whole again through language strict attention Veron on eBay dispatch me the row now the song goes 500 Highbridge the break to no avail April the year begins beyond words Beyond Myself and the image of myself Beyond Moon's ice and Summers Thunder all that the meat of the sacrament is invisible me and the Ghostly substance I'll say like any visible thing I'm always attracted down word and soon to be killed and assimilated vessel of Life fits said vessel of Life brought to naught then gathered back to what visible that's it fragrance of spring like lust in the blossom start Orchard The shapeless shape of Darkness starting to seep through and your merge the scene World starting to tilt where I sit the still unwavering point under that worlds waves how like the past the clouds are building and disappearing along the horizon inflicting the mountains laying their Shadows under our feet For us to cross over on out of their insides fire falls ice Falls what remember that still remembers off Earth and air fall neither however can resurrect or redeem us moving has both must ever away toward opposite Corners neither has been where we're going the rent of an attitude amethyst Crystal transparency Maya and Farrell ring mellow set against witchcraft lightning and hail storm birthstone save your from drunkenness purple color of insight Clear Sight color of memory Violet vets for remembering star crystals scattered across the penumbra hard star who can distinguish Darkness from the dark light from light subject matter from storyline The part from the hole when hole is part of the part and part his whole of it lonesomeness Morandi Saison it's all about lonesomeness and Roscoe especially rothko separation from what heals us Beyond painting Beyond art words and paint black notes white note music and Landscape music landscape end sentences gestures for which there is no bomb no intercession Two tone field Horizon align between abbesses General Lee White always speechless Rosco could choose either one to disappear into and did Perché io no spero di tornar giammai ballatetta in Toscana Not as we were the for the first time not as we'll ever be you again such snowflakes of memory they fall nowhere but there absorbed in remembering we cannot remember X-Files anthem oh stiff heart thing list we came into the world and thing list we leave every important to act his worthless to slip from the right way to fail still accomplishes something even a good thing remembered however is not as good as not remembering hat all time is the source of all good Time the end gender of entropy and decay time the Destroyer our only be get her and advocate for instance my fingernail so pink So Amplified in the half dark for instance these force-fed Dogwood blossoms Green Leaf used limp on their long branches st. Stone say a little prayer for me crackles and Shea in the Black Gum Add rows of the peony head dandelion Globes luminous in the last Light more work to be done
02
Something will get you the doctor said don't worry about that Melancholy is got me pains in the abdomen pains down the left leg and crotch Flurry of coal dust behind the eyes massive weight in the musculature dark blood dark blood I'm sick and tired of my own complaints this quick flick like a compass foot through the testicle deep drag and hurt through the groin Melancholia black dog everyone's had enough do dangle fresh cut long grass will always smell like a golf course Fairway to me Saturday morning Chuck Ross and I already fudging our scores down happy as Mockingbirds in deep weeds The South Fork of the Holston River slick as a nickel before its Confluence behind our backs at rotherwood with in North Forks distant blurred Thunder all rounds in the seventies always including Mulligan nudge to live found Lost full some extraordinary shots and that never to be repeated teenage full sense of attainment one summer H2 16 I watch each night it seemed my roommate A college guy gather his blanket up and flashlight and leave for his rendezvous with the camp cook he never came back before Dawn some forty years later I saw him again for the first time since then in a grocery store in the checkout line a cleric from Lexington shrunken and small bearded even and all these years I thought of him if it'll has huge and encompassing not rabbit I'd not fumbling a Hatfield Brown Sack dry lips apologetic in 1919 we dragged Paris back on the cut again after 25 years the boulevard bolt pornos La Coupe all the select you know the Dome the closer redo Lila up and down and back and forth each night a Japanese girl would take a bath at 4 a.m. in the room above hours each night someone be his wife Add a room above the garage outside our window it rained all day for 10 days sleeplessness hallucination Poe city of light what's a Nim possible reason could Percy Heath have made up to talk to me drunk white and awestruck and toned up to boot that night had to Carmel Mission but he did on condescending feigning interest has milk Jackson walk by and John Lewis walk by Gerry Mulligan slouched in one corner Paul demo and cool in an opposite 1 October 1958 Monterey jazz festival first advisors starting to leave the Army language school for South Vietnam the Pacific start eyelid beginning to stir ready to rise and roll back during World War II we lived in Oak Ridge Tennessee Badges and gay checkpoints government housing government rules 1 house we lived in was next door to his two story to a two star admiral I learned a couple of things in the 3 plus years we lived in Oakridge 1 from my first and only paper route the second after my first and only breaking and entering 1 things I learned however I didn't know what to do with death his into the water life his the coming out I still don't know nothing else matters but that it seems nothing even comes close Elm Grove Pine Valley and Cedar Hill what the pride detritus one remembers the one-armed Soldier we spied on making out in the surge graphs with his red-haired girlfriend behind the Elm Grove playground for instance in 1944 I was 9 the fourth grade I remember telling Brooklyn my best friend my dick with stiff all night 9 years old my dick all night we talked about it for days Oakridge abstracted and elsewhere DJ and Normandie come and gone all eyes on the new world Sun King it's rising up and it's going down it's Wednesday afternoon and Carter and I are on the road for the Sullivan County National Bank Loan Department 1957 Gate City and Southwest Virginia we're after deadbeat delinquent note pairs in Carter's words cemetery plots $10 a month until you die or pay up in 4 months all enter the army right now I'm dr. death riding shotgun for Carter bringing more misery to the miserable Apollo and down Creek Shack after an electrified Shack the worst job in the world and where the two worst people in it Overcast afternoon then week son then overcast again a little wind ripples across the backyard like a Squall line in miniature something the Clover heads start laying the grass my parents 16 it wedding anniversary were they still alive 5th of June 1994 it's hard to imagine I think your own children grown older than you ever were I can't I sit in one of the knockoff Brown Jordan deck chairs we brought from California next to the bearded grandson my mother never knew Same afternoon or noon it will all be over not this one
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